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A practical guide to communicating better with others

Published on October 30, 2026 at 9:03

We learn early in life that communicating well with others is not always easy. Children and adults alike have disagreements that can escalate and become difficult to resolve, especially when their values, needs, or opinions clash with someone else’s.

Disagreement itself is not necessarily the problem. Trouble can arise when we stop trying to understand each other and become more concerned with persuading, defending ourselves or being right than with listening.

A systematic review examined strategies for encouraging empathy and helping people understand other perspectives during discussions on controversial topics, both in person and online.

Three main approaches emerged from the research. When we disagree, it may help to stay open to views that differ from our own, build a positive connection with the other person and take a step back to reflect on how we communicate.

Consider the other person’s point of view

Understanding someone does not mean you have to agree with them. Healthy communication starts with recognizing that another person may see and interpret a situation differently.

You do not have to give up your convictions or treat every opinion as equally valid. The idea is to understand how someone arrived at their position, which experiences have shaped it and what values inform their views.

This is especially important when a topic stirs up strong emotions. Empathy and a willingness to consider another perspective can help keep the conversation calm and respectful, even when you disagree.

Focus on the connection rather than the disagreement

Having different opinions does not mean you have nothing in common. Feeling a connection, noticing similarities or sharing a positive moment during a conversation can make people more willing to consider each other’s views.

Preserving that connection means avoiding personal attacks and contempt. Both can make the other person shut down and increase tension.

Good communication depends on more than the strength of your arguments. The relationship between the people involved matters too. This helps explain why you may be more open and understanding with a family member than with a stranger whose comments you read on social media.

Step back and reflect on how you communicate

When a conversation gets tense, it is easy to react without thinking. We may respond too quickly, make assumptions about the other person’s intentions or focus on finding arguments to defend our position.

Taking a step back gives us a chance to consider what is really happening. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

  • Am I listening, or just preparing my reply?
  • Am I trying to understand or to convince?
  • Is my approach helping us talk openly, or is it adding to the tension?

These questions can help us listen more carefully, understand each other better and become aware of our own reactions. After all, communicating well also means recognizing how what we say and do affects the conversation.

Better communication cannot resolve every conflict

Good communication can keep many disputes from escalating, but it does not guarantee that every conflict can be resolved.

In situations involving intimate partner violence, for example, the problem cannot be reduced to poor communication. The priority is to recognize abusive behaviour and protect the person being harmed. Responsibility for the violence rests with the person committing it, never with the person experiencing it.

This guide offers suggestions for handling everyday friction. However, it is not a reason to justify or tolerate behaviour that threatens your safety, personal integrity or dignity.

Article written in collaboration with Dre. Lory Zephyr, psychologist and founder of Ça va maman


Reference

Vaassen, C. E., van den Broek, T. A., Aaldering, H., & Beersma, B. (2026). Increasing empathy and perspective-taking in controversial discussions: A systematic review and future research directions. Computers in Human Behavior Reports, 22, 101062. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chbr.2026.101062

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