Managing a diagnosis with children
Receiving a diagnosis for a child, such as ADHD, ASD, or a behavioural concern, can trigger a wide range of reactions, both for parents and for the child. For some, it brings relief. For others, it comes as a shock or sparks an emotional whirlwind marked by worry, guilt, or confusion. In all cases, acknowledging and validating emotions on both sides remains a key tool for navigating this moment in a healthy, constructive way.
What validation means
Validation means recognizing, welcoming, and accepting another person’s emotions through empathetic, respectful listening, without judgment and without trying to fix or change anything right away.
Validation is the opposite of minimizing emotions by brushing them aside, or of dramatizing them by amplifying the situation. It also does not mean approval, nor does it imply passivity in the face of difficult emotions.
At its core, validation creates a sense of emotional safety. It helps both children and parents adapt more smoothly to a diagnosis and what it represents.
Validating parents
Parents who learn about their child’s diagnosis may react in many different ways, including:
- Experiencing guilt (“I should have noticed the signs sooner”)
- Worrying about what the future holds
- Feeling relieved to finally understand what is going on
- Fearing social judgment
What is important to remember is that parents also need validation. They need reassurance that the emotions they are experiencing are normal and legitimate. Being able to process their own feelings directly affects the kind of support they can offer their child.
Health professionals, for example, are well-positioned to validate parents’ emotions with simple, grounding statements, such as:
- “You did what was best for your child.”
- “Your concerns are completely understandable.”
They can also help parents better understand the diagnosis itself, explore support options, and identify available resources. For parents, this step is essential.
Validating children
Children also experience strong emotions when faced with a diagnosis, including:
- Fear (“What does this mean for me?”)
- Relief (“I am not just bad or lazy”)
- Confusion about new words and concepts
- Worry about being different from others
Validation is a concrete way to help calm these emotions. When parents feel ready to talk with their child about the diagnosis, it is important to use simple, age-appropriate language, with messages such as:
- “I understand that you are feeling worried.”
- “This diagnosis does not change who you are.”
- “We are here to help you, and we will figure this out together.”
As a parent, it is essential to highlight a child’s strengths, qualities, and talents so the diagnosis does not become a source of negative self-image. Your child should see the diagnosis as a helpful tool rather than a label, one that opens the door to solutions and resources tailored to their needs.
The pharmacist’s role
Pharmacists play an important role in supporting both parents and children throughout the diagnostic journey. They offer valuable guidance on treatment options, medication follow up, and potential side effects, and just as importantly, they make themselves available to answer questions from both parents and children.
From a validation standpoint, pharmacists provide a safe, welcoming space for open, compassionate listening. They help families navigate the experience of a diagnosis without judgment, offering clarity and reassurance along the way.
Everyday validation strategies
Here are a few practical ways parents can validate what their child is experiencing day to day:
- Be available to answer questions, helping the child gradually understand their condition
- Encourage your child to express how they feel and help them put words to their emotions, while respecting them
- Create reassuring daily routines
- Talk openly with your child about the support measures in place at school or daycare
- Maintain open communication with the professionals involved in your child’s life, such as teachers, occupational therapists, psychologists, and pharmacists
With appropriate support, children can learn to live with their diagnosis and manage their emotions more effectively, while building a balanced life that honours both their strengths and their limits.
When parents feel validated in their own emotions, they are better equipped to support their child and foster a healthy environment that meets everyone’s needs.