Sexual response: understanding the body's reactions
Sexuality is a whole-body experience; it blends desire, emotions, and pleasure. But what’s known as the “sexual response” focuses on the body’s physical reactions. It describes what happens physiologically during arousal, plateau, orgasm, and the return to calm. These reactions are universal, though the pace and intensity differ from person to person—and even from one encounter to the next.
Understanding these phases makes it easier to recognize what’s happening in your body and to normalize the wide range of experiences people may have.
The phases of sexual response
Traditionally, the sexual response is mapped as four physiological stages: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Desire is often added at the start, since it sets the mind and body in motion.
1- Desire (upstream)
Desire is the impulse that precedes arousal. It is the only phase of the sexual response that has a psychological dimension, since it originates in the mind through fantasies, erotic thoughts, or libido, also known as sexual desire. It is also influenced by hormones, the quality of the relationship, stress, fatigue, and many other factors. Desire is not a fixed "performance level.” It fluctuates according to situations and periods of life.
2- Arousal
At the onset of intimacy and at the beginning of intimate relations, the body starts to become aroused: breathing and heart rate increase, muscle tension increases, and vasocongestion occurs. Vasocongestion is the visible physiological response: vaginal lubrication, erection, warmth, and possible redness. This phase can be brief or extend over time, depending on the person and the context.
3- Plateau
Arousal stabilizes at a high level. The body "maintains" the intensity: rapid breathing, sustained muscle tension, increased sensitivity.
- In many women, lubrication continues, the clitoris is more sensitive and receptive to stimulation, and tissue congestion occurs.
- For many men, they will have a steady erection and the sense that ejaculation feels “close.”
The plateau serves as a ramp to orgasm; it can last a few seconds or several minutes, with variations in intensity.
4- Orgasm and orgastic reflex
There is sometimes confusion between orgasm and orgastic reflex. In reality, one is the basis for the other.
- Orgastic reflex corresponds to the physiological reflex: involuntary contractions of the pelvic muscles, which occur automatically when sexual arousal reaches its peak. In men, this reflex is usually accompanied by ejaculation.
- An orgasm occurs when that reflex pairs with a subjective feeling of pleasure, such as enjoyment, release, and sometimes deep relaxation.
It is possible to have an orgastic reflex without experiencing it as a true orgasm (for example, during an erotic dream or a bodily reflex), but there is no orgasm without an orgastic reflex.
5- Resolution
This is the return to calm: breathing slows down, muscles relax, and you feel relaxed.
- In men, this includes the refractory period, when another erection or orgasm is temporarily out of reach.
- In women, recovery is usually much shorter or absent, allowing for the possibility of multiple orgasms, though some may feel clitoral hypersensitivity requiring a pause.
Men and women: Similarities and differences
When it comes to differences between men and women, the main stages are the same, but the pace and duration vary:
- Women may have a slower build, more flexibility in the plateau phase, and the potential for multiple orgasms due to little or no refractory period.
- Men often experience orgasm with ejaculation and a refractory period that lengthens with age, health, and other factors.
These variations are neither advantages nor disadvantages; they are simply different ways for the body to express its physiological response.
What influences sexual response?
Sexual response is never fixed. It evolves according to:
- Physiology: Age, hormones, contraception, illnesses, medical treatments.
- Psychology: Stress, fatigue, emotions, body image, self-esteem.
- Relationship: Communication, trust, emotional security, context.
- External factors: Alcohol, drugs, certain substances, or medications.
These factors influence the entire sexual response, from the onset of arousal, the duration of the plateau phase, the intensity of orgasm, and the length of the refractory period.
Key takeaways
The sexual response is a chain of bodily reactions: arousal, plateau, orgastic reflex/orgasm, resolution—with desire as the psychological entry point.
Distinguishing orgaste reflex from orgasm highlights the interplay between reflex and pleasure.
There’s no single “right” way to experience these phases. Everybody has their own rhythm. The most important part is to stay attuned to your sensations, honour your comfort, and communicate openly with your partner.
Article written in collaboration with Au lit avec Anne-Marie